Work has been physically exhausting lately. I'm very happy with it. I have several ideas I want to put into my stage work. I've been trying to figure out ways to improve my couch dances (because no one seems to like those). I've been working at improving how I do my job. And I'm happy with that.
I'm also just worn out. I want to write, but I'm tired. I'm halfway through Justine, and I want so badly to finish. I'm also trying to remedy any plot inconsistencies before I write them down. Is the ending sufficiently climactic? Are important matters explained so that they would make sense to a reader who's new to the Promethean Riddle universe?
Am I inserting enough philosophy and introspection to match the original flow of the series? Can I insert it without making it feel tacked-on and unnatural?
Yesterday my husband threatened me with Tylenol to get me out of bed. LOL. I'm pretty anti-medication, and while I was considerably sore, I'd much rather be sore than take a pill to make it go away. So anyway, when every other tried and true method of getting me up failed, he resorted to bringing me Tylenol and a glass of water to help me get past the soreness enough to crawl out of bed.
By now my muscles feel pretty normal. Tomorrow I'll be back at work trying to wear them all back down again.
That's all good and well, but nowhere in my immediate schedule is there time to write. That was what yesterday was supposed to be for. I kinda dozed through it.
I suppose I've got right now, but I'm still trying to get the right rhythms running through my head. Instead I wrote a chunk of the outline for Promethean Riddle #3. So far, it's still going down on paper easily enough. I just need to figure out the ending. Worried about that. Need to know how it will end so I can write in all the little threads to foreshadow it long before the event itself occurs.
Until then, I've got what I've got. While I'm inclined to call it a hot mess (because that's how it feels sometimes) I know it's not. It's just unruly, that's all. Like my hair.
A very gut-instinct driven part of me wants to take some time to just float... meditate, relax, ponder, listen to music that doesn't come from work (i.e. not loud dance music). Do things that are calming, centering and peaceful.
I imagine this is exactly what I need to be doing. It's not what I want to be doing. I want to be rushing through the second half of Justine and finishing off Book 2. I'm pretty sure if I did this, Justine would come out with plot holes and a certain lack of depth or thought in the belief systems of its characters.
I wonder sometimes if Promethean Riddle #1 did that. I don't think there was really much time in the environment and situations the characters were thrown into to contemplate the universe. I know Raina did a little bit, and maybe I should have given her more time to voice her thoughts. But where would I have fit that in without disrupting the flow of the story? I know I could have. If I wanted to badly enough, I could have. I think...?
I think I'm doing that thing again where I throw too many irons into the fire and wear myself down to nothing, then have to stop for a while just to recover from all the many things I'm trying to make myself do. If I stop now, and meditate, I should be okay in a few days, to go back to rushing around like a chicken with no head.
I think I'll go now and do just that.
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