Been Away Awhile

I haven't posted in forever.  And, hey, there's a new layout!

I haven't posted lately because this blog was, until today, called "Life After Stripping."  Well that didn't happen.  It was also about "going off-grid".  Yeah, that didn't happen either.

In fact, one might say a whole list of things I planned to happen didn't happen.  Either because I trusted the wrong people or... no, mostly because I trusted the wrong people.

It happens.  I've spent my life refining the careful skill of trusting the wrong people.  I would claim to be a master of the art, but I've seen some of the people my coworkers trust.  For example:

"The cops are calling me because my boyfriend borrowed my car out to a friend of his who used it as a getaway car in a robbery-- all while I was out of town!  Now I need an effing lawyer!"  If you hear someone screaming this in the changing room at work, you know you're a stripper. :)

Or any time I go back to fix my hair and find a girl in tears because, "My baby-daddy just <insert outrageously crazy, stupid, careless, reckless and destructive thing here> and I don't know what to do!"

So, yeah.  I'd say I'm a pro at trusting the wrong people, but I know other people who show me what a true novice I really am.  For example, after getting thrown out of our apartment and spending a couple nights in a hotel, my then-fiance (now husband) and I decided to place our trust in some really wonderful friends who gave us a place to stay for a whole month until our next apartment was ready.  A true pro at trusting the wrong people would have gone to stay with someone who would have:

A.) Stolen their belongings, then denied it.
B.) Sold them into sex slavery for drugs.
C.) Raped them, then stolen their belongings, then sold them into sex slavery for drugs.  Then denied it-- to the cops who came asking questions later.

So, obviously, I'm not too much of a pro at trusting the wrong people.  I get it right about half the time, and I suppose I've done pretty good at trusting the right people where it's really important.  I have a husband whom I love and trust completely.  I have very good friends that I trust as well.  These are good things.

Anyway, we stayed at their place for a month, then moved into our new apartment.  It is from this new apartment that I now write.  Obviously, I'm back to stripping.  I've lost a bit of weight, which is never a bad thing.  I've published a second novel, and I'm working my way through a third.  (And a fourth...)  I'm not sure anyone actually reads these things, but I keep putting them out anyway.

I think that more or less covers what I've been doing in the time since my last post.  That, and getting married.  Did that.  Beautiful ceremony.  Everything was perfect, which really surprised me because you always hear that several things always go wrong somewhere in the process of getting married.

I always promised myself I'd stop dancing when I got married, but practical considerations kind of got in the way of that.  We could live on my husband's salary.  But if we did, he wouldn't be able to pursue other business interests, and we wouldn't see as much of each other.  And hey, we're newlyweds.  We want to see a lot of each other.

What else...?  The piece of property we bought was a scam.  (Trusting the wrong people...)  Or maybe it wasn't a scam, but there was a huge "problem" with the paperwork.  Which is just as well.  We're here and I'm not driving 3 hours just to get to work and back.

Still dreaming of that house that I'm gonna build.  It's just a way off.  A long way.  And I'm not complaining.  I have a wonderful husband.  I have a roof over my head and food in my stomach.  I even have my novels, though I'm not sure anyone's going to read those...

Future Goals: Going to start a youtube channel and put up amusing videos about stripping.  I can't do this now because I'm a little under the weather, but as soon as I'm all fixed up, this is going to happen.  Wish me luck. :)

So I finally published that novel...

Came back here with the intention of deleting that last post.  I guess it really wasn't too bitchy, but it felt bitchy.  I was in a bad mood when I wrote it, and the words felt moody in my head.  Feel free to ignore that last post.  There's some very good advice in it, but it's rather bitter advice, and I try to tell myself I'm more optimistic than that.

Anyway, another thing.

I finally published my novel.  Here's a link.  I doubt anyone comes to this blog, but I'll leave it anyway.  The novel is called There were Spirits in the Stone and it's a post-apocalyptic sci-fi.  If that's your kind of read, then follow the link to get a better description and some free sample chapters.  If you enjoy the sample chapters, the rest of the book is only $1.99 which is pretty affordable.

It's a first novel, so publishing it has been sort strange.  Not really emotional so much as just strange.  I was telling my fiance earlier tonight.  I can't sit down and read my novel, because every time I look at it, I hear a different voice reading it to me.  Normally when I read a novel, I envision the author's voice reading it to me. Every author writes to his or her own specific cadence, therefore, I can hear every author's voice as a unique voice.  My own writing doesn't sound like anyone's voice.  It sounds... weird in my head.

So, I've put the book away.  I don't know if it's a good book or a bad book.  I'm really hoping someone will give me some feedback, because I think it'll be quite a while before I'll be able to just open it up and start reading it like a normal book.  And I've already started on the next book.  This first one was actually a prequel for a series.  Don't worry, the series will be better written than the first book.  I hope.

In other news, I've drawn up plans for several different imaginary houses.  There's the concrete one, which is definitely my dream house.  There's also a few different ideas regarding what to do with the trailer, since we've got it and I might as well no waste it.

It might turn out to be good to have, because building a wooden house will be very difficult in the woods in the middle of nowhere without access to tools or electricity.  If I realize I need a special kind of screw out on our land (middle of nowhere), it'll take me four hours to drive out, buy it, and drive back.  But if I do it on the trailer on a property near a home depot, my chances of getting it successfully finished are higher.

I'm still not gonna take help from anyone in making it.  I'm really not trying to sound bitter with this, but I'm not taking help making this unless its from my fiance.  It's no one's fault, it's just that people have schedules and they get busy and things don't get done.  And it's more than that.  I want the learning experience of turning the trailer into a tiny house on wheels, because if I understand how to do that, I can then move on to bigger projects (like the concrete dream house).

So... now all I need is money.  Since I'm going to be making this with the cheapest material I can find, I should be able to make it with about $2000.

I'm gonna have to sell a lot of books...

My Recent Obsession

I must be a crazy woman.  In my spare time I've been compiling information on the requirements of a DIY house-building project.  I call it the Imaginary House.  It's my guilty pleasure.

Guilty because the trailer didn't pan out, and I spent $800 to get a series of unpleasant, practical, and "you'd think I'd know better" lessons.  The trailer is going nowhere.  It started going nowhere within the first week and when we had our unexpected relocation, I decided to scrape what remained of my dignity into a thimble and abandon the thing.  I could gripe and complain, but the fact of the matter is that I really needed those lessons to know what not to do with the Imaginary House.

~Imaginary House Rule #1: Have a very precise cost analysis of all materials required, money set aside with which to purchase them, extra money for unexpected expenses, and purchase all materials ahead of time.  (You'd think I'd know better...)

~Imaginary House Rule #2: Be capable of doing everything yourself.  If you can't do it entirely by yourself, have money set aside to hire someone to do it.  (Since hiring someone is expensive, might as well learn how to do it by yourself.)  People might volunteer to help.  That's very nice.  Don't expect them to follow through.  People have busy lives.

~Imaginary House Rule #3: Understand the logistics of everything.  Have a clear plan for how every little piece of every step works and do not deviate.  People will tell you the "correct" way to do things.  Unless its a safety issue, thank them, then ignore them.  They do not necessarily have a vested interest in completing the project.  They do not necessarily have a working knowledge of what you want the project to look like.  And even if they do have a working knowledge that could greatly improve your project, refer back to Rule #2.  Nothing sucks like waiting around for several months for someone to finish the key element of one comparatively small piece of a project that only they know how to do.

~Imaginary House Rule #4: This is more like a dire warning about rule #3.  I like to think I'm not so arrogant as to ignore a professional when they tell me I'm doing something wrong.  Normally I'm a strong advocate for listening to other people and considering their advice.  The problem with this comes when they tell you you're doing something wrong then refuse to offer a workable alternative.  So, when issues arise with Rule #3, consult Rule #2.  If someone tells you doing something is vital to the completion of your project, does doing that something depend entirely on them finding the free time to do it for you?  They might think they're helping by offering to do this complicated thing for you.  But really, they're not.  Nothing sucks like being stuck on a project with nothing to do for several months because someone started to do something vital that you don't understand and didn't finish it.

So... yeah, those are the first rules of my building plan for the Imaginary House.  They sound fantastically bitchy.  I do apologize.  I had a lot of help from several well-meaning people on the trailer, and it wasn't anybody's fault (expect probably mine) that it became such an absolute disaster.  There were several points during which, if I'd had any leadership qualities at all, I should have taken charge and said, "No, we're going to do it this way."  However, I have no leadership qualities.  I'm an antisocial person.  I'm not a team player, and my plans for the trailer should have reflected that.

So, because of this, my Imaginary House plans will be based on the assumption that I don't play well with others, except possibly Fiance.  If something needs to be done, I will do it myself.

Of course, this opens up a whole new door that I would never have expected to open in the past: the sheer mental joy of learning everything about building a house from the foundation up.

Last week, I spent hours trying to figure out how to correctly design and hand craft large beam trusses for a cathedral-style ceiling.  This week, I'm beginning to look at electricity.  Half the challenge is finding out how these things work in the first place.

I should mention that I'm one of those odd folks who gets an enormous jolt in the pleasure center by learning something new and foreign.  I'm in house-building heaven, weighing the pros and cons of different roofing materials because installing roofing is something people always tell me to hire someone else to do.  How many people who've never worked as roofers install their own roofs?  And what about all the stuff that goes on underneath the roofing material?  Trusses?  Support beams?  How about some fancy-looking purlins?

Roofs used to scare me.  I didn't know how they were designed, and because I didn't know that, I assumed that I'd have to hire someone to put them up for me, thus tremendously increasing my imaginary building costs.  Before roofs it was plumbing.  How on earth does plumbing work?  And then I saw youtube videos of people who'd installed tankless water heaters in DIY off-grid housing and some of the mystery's gone.

I feel reasonably confident that I can install my own plumbing, build my own roof, and assemble my own walls.

So now I'm studying electricity, which is perhaps the biggest and scariest of the big scary things I don't know how to do.  I'm not sure I'll be able to make electricity work for me.  I might have to cave a little and hire an electrician to make sure I don't burn my house down or electrocute myself.  But I'm going to study it first.  I want to understand it.  I want to know how it works.  I want it done my way.

I'm sure that sounds spoiled and bratty.  Maybe it is, but I want to understand the Imaginary House.  I want to build it and, having built it, I want to be able to dissect it with my eyes and identify all the inner workings that make it what it is.  If something breaks down, I want to understand why and how.  I want to know which parts broke down and how those parts can be fixed or replaced.  I want to be capable of doing the fixing/replacing myself.  I don't want to feel helpless in the Imaginary House until a professional comes and magically fixes whatever broken thing I don't understand.

Of course, there is a possibility, the Imaginary House will never be built.  It is imaginary after all.  If that's the case, I still want to learn and understand how it works.  If only because it's way too fun to learn about.

Why I haven't posted in a while...

Due to a series of unforeseen events, we ended up moving away from where we lived very hurriedly.  We packed up all our belongings, spent two nights in a hotel room shopping for apartments, then a month at a good friend's house until our new apartment was ready.  It's a beautiful apartment and we're very happy here.

We were able to bring the cats with us (they're like our pre-children children).  We were not able to take the chickens with us.  The last I've heard, they were sold to a very humane chicken farm.  The trailer is sitting in someone's driveway.

The move was a bit stressful-- as I suppose any sudden relocation would be-- but I'm very happy that we ended up where we are.  This is a beautiful place, and both my fiance and I (and even the cats) are very pleased with out new home.

That said, today I finally began looking at what to do with the trailer.  Since the sudden move, I've been considering abandoning the trailer altogether to build more permanent housing on the land we purchased.  However, we've begun discussing the possibility of leaving the state altogether.

If this were to be the case, we might benefit from having a livable trailer to plop on a new plot of land in a new state and live out of until a more permanent dwelling was constructed.

So... I might begin working at the trailer again.  I'm pretty sure it would be mostly me doing the work on it this time around.  The people who had been available to help me in the past had a lot of schedule conflicts, and several aspects of the trailer work were delayed indefinitely while we waited for our schedules to line up.

So, this time, I'll just work on it myself.  If it turns out okay, it turns out okay.  If it doesn't, I'll consider it a learning experience.  My long-term goal is to live someday in a house that I've built (more or less) with my own hands.  As the trailer will be a much smaller project, it might give me an idea how realistic my aspirations are.

It might all be a disaster.  Certainly there will be at least a few problems that I don't have the experience to remedy correctly.  So I'll just have to make due with the flaws and try to compensate as best I can.

Wish me luck.  One of these days, we'll get back on track.  One of these days, I'll be able to start up a new flock of chickens and build that tiny house I've wanted to build.  We'll just have to wait until we can do it in a place that's more stable.

Every experience, good or bad, is a learning experience.  I'll look at the world that way, and just keep going.  It's all any of us can do.

The Coop is Finished! :)

Yesterday, my fiance came to me at about noon and told me the chickens didn't seem to be handling the heat well.  We'd managed to put a roof on the coop and move it outside, but the run wasn't finished, so we'd kept them inside the coop for the last two days.  It wasn't ideal, but it was roomier than the tub.

I went to check on the chickens and they all looked uncomfortable in the coop.  The window that I'd hoped would give them ventilation didn't seem to be venting out enough.  They were all panting.  So we did something I read about in my research (I was not voluntarily being mean to my poor chickens) and carried them out of the coop one at a time and poured water on them from one of those sprinkly watering pails.

They weren't thrilled about it, but they did cool off very quickly.  They seemed a lot more lively afterward.

This meant that the rest of our day was devoted to finishing the coop and run so that they could go outside to cool down on hot days (like yesterday).  I was a bit burned out on coop-making and a tad under the weather, so I ended up watching while my fiance finished the chicken ramp.  I was very grateful.  He did a wonderful job (better than I would have).

So, we have our completed coop and run.  The chickens seem happy.  We lock them in the coop overnight and open the ramp up for passage during the day.  We need to water them regularly, and make sure the have food.  In the evenings, I plan to give them some sort of "treat" to lure them up into the coop.  Last night it was squash guts which they seemed very excited about.

Here they are, clucking and fluffing happily around the ramp J. made for me.

Our chickens have now become considerably more low-maintenance.  This means I can return my attention to cheese-making.  From thence, onward to goat-owning (and the subsequent goat-cheese making and goat-cheese selling).

Hopefully all of this works.  So far nothing's gotten into the coop and killed any of our birds, and the birds themselves don't seem to have any illnesses (knock on wood, knock on wood).  I do hope to make a small detachable tractor for them sometime in the near future so that I can house sick or broody hens as they come up.  I'd prefer to have the tractor and not need it for several months than need it and not know what to do without it.

Anyway, for now all seems to be going well.  I need to go make dinner.  ttyl :)

Chicken Taming and Land to Live On

So, yesterday, my mother-in-law, R. and I all drove to this plot of land and met with a very pleasant lady who posted it for sale on Craigslist.  It's a bit out of the way (understatement) but it's within our price range.  It's a beautiful stretch of land.  We'll need to clear parts of it.  Maybe we can get a goat to clear it for us... not yet.

Anyway, here's a picture:

Beautiful, eh?  I was a little nervous, because this is a Craigslist deal, and you get what you pay for, but the seller seems honest.  It's worth a try.

We won't be able to live on it right away (even if we could magically clear the whole half acre overnight).  But if my fiance and I work with the land during the weekends, clearing and building, it might prove to be a very beautiful (getting-in-touch-with-nature type) bonding activity for us.  I'm trying to give my inner optimist a voice here.

And, now for something a little more entertaining.

The birds are getting big!  I didn't get to see much of them yesterday, and it looks like they grew visibly overnight.

I've been trying to tame them.  At least to the point that they don't flee and cower at the far end of the coop every time I approach them.  (Chickens, apparently, are instinctively afraid of people.  I really can't fault them on that one.)  So I've been making sure to bring a treat every time I spend any time with them.  I've been using dry oatmeal because I have access to it, but I'd like to switch over to sunflower seeds, which are supposed to be good for healthy feather growth.  I had to buy the salted kind and wash all the salt off.  It was that, or barbecue flavor.

Anyway, this morning I opened the door to give them some fresh water and food, and I brought a piece of zucchini (they haven't been able to go outside, so I figured they'd enjoy something green).  They all ran up to me when they saw something in my hand.  Then they noticed that it wasn't oatmeal, and stood in a little circle around my hand, staring at the zucchini.  Eventually one of them walked up and pecked at it, then backed away quickly.  A few of the others tried, but it was too big a chunk for them to do much with it.

I put the zucchini away and sprinkled some oatmeal in my palm.  Chicken feeding frenzy.  They all ran up to me and started nibbling at my hand, picking up little oats, and chewing at my fingers.  They have this very delicate bite and twist technique that tickles.

So, good.  They're starting to associate me with food.  That means picking them up to check them for parasites will be easier.  Plus it's fun to see them all come running up to me when I open the door.  They are cute, funny little creatures.

People keep telling me they'll breed like flies.  I really hope that's true.  Anyway, I must finish building that chicken coop.  Until next time :)

Separated the Flocks

Bits of info today.  I've sliced my hands up so much now that this morning when the tomato stake I was carrying broke and split open the skin between my fingers, I didn't really even notice that the blood was oozing all over my hand until I was in the car and halfway to the hardware store.

Got hinges for the coop door (the one the chickens will use).

We separated the flocks last night.  Her chickens are in the tub (she has four).  And mine are in the coop I made.  They don't seem to object to the wire mesh floor.  I finally managed to look it up.  (You know how, when you google something, you don't necessarily find any information pertaining to your topic?)  So, people say it's okay.  The birds won't mind.  Awesome.

So, they should be ready to live outside permanently in about a week.  I can't wait.  Of course, the coop's not done yet.  I wouldn't call it a defensible structure just yet, and I wouldn't want them outside in it until it reaches that point.

I started work on the run yesterday.  In fact, that's all I worked on yesterday.  I wove the wire mesh for the roof together.  Then, since I didn't have wood to complete the frame, I went out into the woodsy area behind the garage and found some fallen limbs which I then sawed down to the appropriate lengths.  I'm using those to support the over-all frame, which has been going relatively smoothly so far.  (Knock on wood.)

I should be getting back to work any minute, but I wanted to burn some time just sitting and doing nothing.  I've been working like crazy to get this coop done.  Once it is done, I realized I'm probably gonna have to sit around for a week and wait for the birds to get big and strong enough to handle being outside.

I also need to take some time today just sit with them and let them grow accustomed to my scent.  They scratched me up pretty good last night when I started carrying them from the pen we had them in outside.  They're getting big enough that they can do some damage if they want to.  Must remember to look up the best way to pick up and hold them so that they'll stay calm.

So much do to.  Will post pictures of the run once it's up and running (no pun intended).  Wish me luck.

P.S.  Received a renewal notice for my stripper license.  Tore it up.  So that's the end of that part of my life.  Now I just hope I make a satisfactory housewife.